So it has officially happened…Bauer has become a daddy’s boy. I really thought I had this one in the bag. Bree was a daddy’s girl and Bauer was going to be his momma’s boy. But I saw the switch turn today and my first reaction was one of sadness and then disbelief and then just anger. I’m a drama queen…what can I say??!!! All those thoughts of “do you know what I gave up for you”, “I carried you around for 10 months”, “I planned your nursery”, “I plan fun playdates”, “I try and be fun”…I could go on and on….went flooding through my head. I want to be the favorite parent for once.
Then Sean went to work and Bauer got over him not being around and we had a crazy yet fun evening before dinner. I tried to think through why I got so sad over Bauer’s preference for Daddy. It hit me as I was going downstairs to get Bauer’s bottle and Bauer was standing at the gate screaming for me to come back. He definitely likes me a lot too…probably even loves me…if babies know what that means. He needs both of us.
It comes down to the fact that I’ve conditioned myself to always want to “WIN” at everything. And as crazy as it is…winning in the parenting realm is not the goal…and that’s a hard thing for new parents. We want to show we are the best, the most organized, the most creative, the most fun, etc. We compare ourselves to our partner and to our neighbor down the street and to the woman with 4 kids trailing after her in Target and to Tori Spelling (okay maybe that’s only me)! It’s so silly, but I’ve come to understand that there is so much of it that’s human nature that you just have to be okay with some comparison.
But luckily there is no game being played between Sean and me for the best parent at 405 Rocky Canyon Court. I thought today after the kids were in bed that if I’m both Bree and Bauer’s 2nd most favorite person in this world throughout their life, I’ve done a great job. I can and probably will totally lose out to “most favorite person” to my better half. He makes me a better person and makes them better people and for him I am so grateful. I always tell him that “I like it better when YOU are home” so why wouldn’t the kids feel the same way.
We are a team and for that I’m so thankful. Even if he gets to be the fun one and I get to be the one who remembers to wash Bree’s favorite dress, it wouldn’t be the same without both pieces to the puzzle.
I had to write these thoughts down so I can go back and reread it everytime the “drama queen-competitive- youngest child” in me comes out tomorrow and the next day and the next day…
Sean…thanks for truly being my better half and loving all my antics day in and day out. I’m so proud of our 5 years of marriage (on Friday)…I’m excited and sorta overwhelmed to think where the next 5 may take us. Two dogs, two rent houses, two mortgaged houses, two kids, numerous jobs, 1 new degree, and a million memories…I think at some point we have got to settle down. Love you!
