Legendary

I should be looking through firewall logs right now but had to share one of the most incredible things I have ever seen first (warning, this is not read-while-you-eat material).

It was 8:15 at night, we were in the playroom. I was reading Cinderella to Bree and Bennett while Bauer practiced riding his trike. Nearing the end of the book, Bauer had just completed a circle around the house when he stopped in front of us and said “Daddy, look daddy.” I look up and catch my first whiff of the smell, then look behind him in amazement, “Is that poo?!”

With children, or if you’re a consistent follower of this blog, it becomes quite evident that a large portion of life when your children are young revolves around poo. Lately though, there has been a serious dry spell of exciting moments. I guess this was one gigantic reminder that period of our lives isn’t quite over yet. It was up his back, in and outside his shirt and down both sides of his pants in addition to the seat of the trike I had just seen. All I could do was lift him up and move him to the marble-floored kitchen (everything comes off marble, it really is a super choice for flooring) and begin wiping feverishly. When the triage was over, it was emergency bath time. I inform Bauer of this and he tries to make a break for his blanket, “nooooo sir!” I shout “or we have to wash it.” This gets him to stop in his tracks and off to the bath we go. Might as well throw Bree in there since we’re at it. Happily, bath time goes off without a hitch, pjs and all. During his wash-down, I tell Bauer that poo was legendary to which Bree replied, “Bauer’s a legend, daddy”. Her God-given grasp of grammar continues to amaze me. Clean, clothed and calm, I offered to finish the stories we had chosen earlier and this time they both sat in my lap while we read two to completion. Bauer was passed out by 9 and Bree by 9:15.

Time to relax, right? Not for a parent. I still had a kitchen floor to sanitize; clothes to scrub; a trike to wash with poo on the seat, on handle bars, around the frame and in the bucket; and three toy cars that were in his bucket where apparently the Sheriff got the worst having it in the wheels, the light and the screw that held him together. All I could do as I found more places with lingering remains was to manage a few chuckles with a few verbal “unreal” and “unbelievable” comments thrown in to keep my sanity. I mean, it was truly legendary.

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