Man on Man

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I played a bunch of sports growing up.  Going to Catholic school…everyone pretty much gets a chance to play everything!  Not because we are Catholic…just because there are limited numbers of kids!

I remember playing basketball and always asking the coach “who am I guarding…who is my man on defense?”

I was really good when given a task in sports.  Guard this person.  Play this base.  Run from here to there.

The strategy of the sport is what always got to me.  Looking back it is what separates those who play in grade school and those who go on to be good enough to play in high school and college.

In an effort to disguise my mediocre skills, I like the structure, the rules and the guidence of a coach.

I liked to have one person to focus on when playing defense.  I would be able to judge my success or failure by whether that person got past me and scored or if I was able to thwart a scoring attempt and take the ball back to my goal on an easy lay-up (okay, this NEVER happened).

All that to say, I have figured out why my brain is having such a hard time wrapping its mind around this 3:1 ratio of kid:mom I have created in my life.

I’m a man to man player…zone defense just requires way to much strategy and energy.  And there is no way to ever figure out if you are doing it the right way or not.

Does this mean I have no career in mothering?  Maybe.

But probably not.  I think I just need to spend more intentional one on one time with my kids so that I can really connect with them.  Then when we are all back together in the insanity that is weekdays at home, I may remember why I like them so much.  And when I feel like I am not spending any quality time with any of them in the chaos of dragging Bauer out from under the minivan or soothing Bennett after a toy is stolen from his grasp, I’ll know that I’ve made the effort and will again.  But the days with all three of them will just be what they can be…and I have to be okay with that.

Does this mean that I’m suddenly going to be a superstar stay at home mom? Or have no more freakouts?  Or laugh at Bauer when he hides from me for the 10th time?


I’m still going to be crazy.

That’s a given.

But I hope at least I can slow down this ride I’m on and try to enjoy the individual moments more.

Last night, Bree and I met Grammy at the mall for a girls night.  We shopped, rode the carousel, ate dinner and just spoiled Bree rotten.  She loved it.

And so did I.

Then, this morning Bree and I went to see her cousin Audrey in a play and then to a birthday party at the Butterfly House in Fair Park (AWESOME!).  I wasn’t until the end that the whiny voice (hers not mine) took over and we had to have a talk about being grateful for all this solo time with Mommy.

We got home and the older B’s left with Sean to go to the lake for the night.  Bennett and I sat cuddled on the couch until his afternoon nap.  Then we played, read books, went to church, took a walk…

Again…so nice to just focus my attention on one child.

I’m so grateful for my 3 B’s…their unique traits make this family complete.  The sentimental side of me knows this…but the logical side of me sometimes wonders if I have the stamina to make them all what I know they can be.

I think taking a break from the zone defense for this man to man approach more often is really going to help my sanity and perspective.  It’s not a solution by any means.  But I’m not sure I am looking for a solution.

Just a new playbook…

Looking forward to a morning of drinking some coffee and and playing with my baby b.

Thanks for all the support after I posted the last blog.  You all are no doubt my strength!

About juco

The Murphy Clan is onto year 4 of this parenting adventure. We are happy to keep sharing some our proudest and silliest moments with all our family and friends. We hope you enjoy our new format!
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