How do you define happiness? Pretty deep, huh? Didn’t think this was how we were going to hang out in blog-o-sphere today, did you?
Honestly, I think we rarely focus on that question! But instead have no problem pointing out what makes us unhappy. I think our human nature tells us that when we have nothing left to make us unhappy, we will automatically be happy. Sounds logical. Most days!
I had an interesting talk with my one of my bosses at work (UTA) today. She was surprised to learn from a co-worker that one of the reasons I was leaving my job at UTA (that I’ve had for almost 6 years) was because I’m unhappy. I guess I had failed to put that point blank in my resignation email. I focused more on the opportunities piece…taking my new job at UTD would offer me lots of professional opportunities (like the full time job part). I focused more on how much experience I was taking with me from my work at UTA. I focused on the positive I think mostly because that is what we do. We being humans. We typically try to put a positive or at least neutral spin on hard conversations. Resigning is a hard conversation in my book. Oh and we assume that people who have worked with us for any length of time might be able to READ BETWEEN (the really obvious, insanely large print) LINES.
But they don’t and then are surprised we are unhappy.
Let me ask you this…do happy people leave a job they love? Do happy people pack up their 3 kids under 5, their husband, and sell and buy a house to move 45 minutes away?
Nope, they don’t. Happy people will stay at said job…and keep being happy.
I told me boss I was unhappy and gave her about 50 very real reasons. She asked me to type it up in a email so that she could pass it on. She hated that people were leaving because they were unhappy.
I hate that the 14 conversations I had with my boss and my boss’ boss that involved crying, frustrated raised voices, and overall pits in my stomach were somehow misconstrued as me being happy.
People have told me throughout my life that I wear my emotions on my sleeve and that sometimes that can be a determent to getting things that I want out of life.
Well, I guess I finally have that conquered.
No one saw this coming…I guess my poker face has improved.
This past week could not have confirmed more how sure I am that I made the right decision to leave UTA. I needed to leave while I still like who I worked with and could continue friendships without becoming angry at these people. I needed to get off the proverbial “bus” my VP always tells us we need to be on before I wanted to highjack it and crash it into the ocean by driving off the cliff of unhappiness.
Happy people normally stay on the bus…just in case I lost you somewhere.
I can’t wait to start my new adventure at UT Dallas.
My friend Caitlin (who is also moving soon) told me she got some great advice from her cousin. He told her that the feeling in your stomach that makes you almost sick when you are nervous about something new means you are really living…you are challenging yourself with unknowns. This is how we grow.
I’m growing by leaps and bounds if this is how we grow. There have been stress headaches, stomach aches, short tempers and just overall exhaustion these past few weeks. Growing is not easy…especially when it’s no longer just about you.
Who knew moving 45 minutes northeast could involve so many decisions…
Probably everyone…
But we are checking things off the list…house in Richardson, pediatrician in Plano, soccer league in Richardson, dance class in Richardson, daycare in Plano, house listed to sell in Arlington, transfer of Junior League membership, start date at UT Dallas August 29, last day at UT Arlington August 26, mental preparation to leave our house at 7am for a month or so before we move to drop kids at school and get to work on time…
And then there are some bigger check marks I’m not prepared to make: grieving for the loss of a life I love in Arlington…with incredible friends…there are too many to name, moms that helped me through some of my darkest hours, a university that became my second home, coworkers that celebrated 3 births of my B’s with me and supported me through a crazy 6 years in student affairs, our first two houses that we owned whose walls know all our secrets (good and bad), a church in which we almost got to listen to mass due to an insanely large cry room, and a community that picked up a young couple and allowed us to become parents…
We don’t leave a life we love unless something in it is making us unhappy. The hardest part of this whole decision has been that this one little part of my life called my job is the one thing that was making me unhappy. And it affects everything else…
So you push yourself to see what else is out there and God shows you…
Then you have to be brave enough to know that everything else will fall into line.
There is so much to look forward too…including managed expectations of what my job at UT Dallas can offer me.
I think it will offer happiness all the way.
It is just one piece to a huge puzzle and I’m ready to see how they all fit together!
So in a nutshell…
…the Murphy clan is taking flight,
setting sail,
and are ready to open our new life in Richardson, TX.
