Just wanted to document for all my readers out there a time when I really thought this 3 kids in 4 years was a good idea! We all know its been hard, real hard and I’ve questioned our sanity for having kids so close together, but lately, I would say there have been more times than not that I catch myself thinking…”wow, this may just really pay off.”
My neighbor from Arlington (who has 3 kids the same distance apart, but a couple of years older) told me I would eventually come to this conclusion, but she said it would take Bennett being around 3 to finally stop feeling like I wanted to run away from home. I’d like to humbly say, I think we are ahead of schedule.
The ages 6-4-2 seem to be the magic formula. And I’m hoping it continues to prove even better as we get to 7-5-3 and so on.
Don’t get me wrong, it is still chaotic and out of control 65% of the time. But that is down from about 99.9% in past years.
I want to credit the ages of my kids and the ability of the older b’s to entertain themselves way more than in the past and the youngest b for finally understanding the wonderfulness of watching a tv show. I want to credit the fact that I learned what a great asset the ipad can be to my parenting. I want to credit all my kids sleeping through the night and 60% of them being potty trained. But I think I am the biggest component in this whole equation. I have to give credit in a big way to my growth as a mom and just a person in general. I’ve gotten better at a lot of things like learning to hold three sets of hands at once. But regardless of all those little tasks that make functioning as a mom so much easier, the most important thing I think I’m almost ready to admit is…
…wait for it…
…I may in fact not be super mom after all!
I know many of your may be shocked so take a second to let that sink in.
Wow, I feel a million times better just having admitted that out to the world of cyberspace.
My kids misbehave, I yell at them (a lot), our kitchen is a disaster zone more than it is not, I forgot to send more diapers to daycare, I lose books that come home from Bree’s school, I press the snooze on my alarm multiple times each morning, my kids don’t brush their teeth every night, my kids watch lots of tv, my kids eat fish sticks, macaroni and cheese, and bagel bites every.single.week.
And regardless of all that, we are surviving. My kids seem happy and well adjusted and yes, I’m crazy, but I’m learning (slowly) to let some things go.
As cliche as it sounds, I’m trying so hard to appreciate the little moments that will seem like such distant memories even a year from now:
Bathtime with all three!
Bree wanting me to come to her classroom parties…Valentine’s!
My 3 bs watching a show all together in mommy’s bed.
This kid after his new haircut…
The excitement of being a first year daisy and selling lots of girl scout cookies.
Bree and Bauer attempting to play on the computer together.
Your kid’s first clay pot that they made at school and are sooooo so proud to show off at Fine Arts Night.
Bennett and Bauer loving all the instruments at at the Instrument Zoo at Fine Arts Night at Bree’s School.
It’s chaotic and exhausting, but some days I really think it could be one of the best things I’ve ever done….being a mom, that is. Some days I definitely do not. I still dream about my former life of happy hours, going to the gym after work with not a care in the world, sleepy weekend mornings and brunch with friends, traveling on a moments notice.
But if given the choice, I’d say the tide is turning in favor of the munchkins.
Last night at the dinner table, we had some actual conversations. This may not seem like that big a deal, but I remember not so long ago when Sean and I spent more time up from the table dealing with getting this and that and yelling at everyone to stay put, that when we finally sat down we ate in silence scarfing down food before something else was needed. And really up to until about a year ago, it was hard to have a “conversation” with kids who have very short term memories. You ask them questions and they look at you with a blank stare. They can’t remember anything they did during the day. But now that Bree is in Kinder, she has some stuff to contribute and even last night Bauer told us about playing tennis at school. It really was kinda fun. Again 65% chaos, but I feel like we actually connected over the dinner table and it made me want to have that experience again.
So I’ll cut these ramblings short, but let’s just say I feel like I’m growing up, gaining some perspective, and maybe just maybe starting to really enjoy this journey of motherhood after all!
